Sometimes I cannot hear.
My ears work fine.
I recognize the origins of this occasional deaf-blindness to be something I call
"Need-to-know basis with Spirit".
Are you familiar with the "need to know" rank status used in the military?
It's essentially recognizing that on a covert mission, each operative only knows what they need to know, because superfluous information could not only distract from the singular and crucial task one may have to perform... but could also corrupt and sabotage the entire operation.
As I write that out, thinking about the way humans can use this means of governance to control each other and ourselves to do things that are not congruent with our hearts and souls... I feel kinda yucky tbh.
It makes sense objectively though... to succeed at something that would encounter high resistance in the field, to protect each operative from being compromised by certain information that would risk their integrity in performing their specific duty.
That's why I think "need to know" originates with God --or whatever you call that mysterious organizing force of Life.
There is a basic relationship to what you know and what you need to know, so that you can trust that if there's something you *think* you need to know, and you do not... well, you don't need to know it --at least for now.
I usually interpret this high-ranking officer who grants and denies me information based upon my security clearance😉 my higher self... and her name is also on a need to know basis 😉
I asked my brother how he felt about "need to know basis" when he was an active duty Marine and he said "You learn really fast to not waste energy on things you can't control".
Yes. THAT. Exactly!
You don't know. You can't control. Relax and focus on your job.
What DO you know? Like really: What do you know already, right now?
I recognize my deafness play out in four major ways:
I'm listening to someone talk and there will be a brief period when I literally don't hear them. It's like they got muted, even though I can still hear their voice. In this time, there is something else I am paying attention to that I suspect if I were focused on their words, I would have missed. (this is my secret to those moments when I cut to the heart of the matter seemingly out of nowhere with my clients)
The tech just fries. Robot voice. Distortion of audio. Frozen screen. Another person comes on the line or a radio station or all kinds of weirdness. Or the call just completely drops
When in trance in a session with a client, the guides I work with, who are stewards of the highest and best space I hold, will inform me that the next part is none of my business... they are drawing the curtain so-to-speak, and I tend my energy and maybe even step out of the container to pee or something while that person enjoys some privacy. Even if I tried to look or hear at these times, I would not be able to perceive what is not for me.
Someone either tells me or gives me evidence that I have not heard them.
It's not a full stop.
There are ways to prepare to hear something. Ways to open.
Noticing that something wasn't heard, is a certain kind of hearing in itself.
When I don't hear someone, sometimes it's a sign that there is resistance that needs to be addressed in order for me to have the security clearance to hear it, especially when I'm working with someone as a professional guide.
It can also be a sign that I'm potentially being enrolled in someone's unconscious bullshit; validating unconscious beliefs & commitments that produce problematic patterns.
I'm a professional at not taking the bait and assisting my clients in finding the exit from their loops of despair.
A lot of times our minds are so fixated on trying to explain what we think we need to get [or do] to be "better", that we are completely bypassing and neglecting some part of us that actually holds the keys to what we are reaching for.
Those aspects that register as "blocks" are serving as a protection from pushing into advanced territory before we are actually ready to receive it in service to our highest trajectory.
I have a lot of respect for what we do not know, what we cannot hear... yet, maybe ever; If it's none of my business, it's none of my business (until it IS).
There's a perfection to accepting that you don't know something and you don't need to know. Sometimes when you really arrive and surrender to that acceptance, a beautiful door appears and you see you are holding the golden key to the unknown that is just for you.