From Inside to Out

When the foundation of your life is invested in the dazzling and disturbing illusion that anything is “out there”… it SHOWS [on the “outside”] like a rescue flare in the wilderness… if anyone is there to see it.

Those who are viewing you from the “outside” will tend to avoid you or join you on your top-speed freight train running out of tracks.

If you’re lucky, the rare honest person may erect a billboard, fly a banner in the sky, or rarest yet: tell you to your face that you have inverted the mechanics of life to cause yourself unnecessary suffering.

…Because of your assumption, however, you’re more likely to see a vagrant, an enemy, or nothing at all, than you are to recognize you are in the presence of an angel opening a door to Heaven.

The chances that you will viciously attack the loving messenger who carries your map to freedom, are also very high.

You’ll experience inhumane fluctuations of highs and lows… like taking a cat on a rollercoaster.

You’ll treat urgency like a truculent boy-king who promises endless favor and riches for your obedience, and is fully capable of —and more likely to collect your head as his own reward if he even imagines you disloyal.

You’ll trust no one and nothing while evangelizing the God of trust… one day you will tell that God to fock off and weep that you were abandoned.

Eventually, sooner than later if you’re fortunate, sh!t will fall apart…

Nothing will even remotely “work” anymore…

At first (and maybe for awhile) you will believe yourself cursed, as you quite obviously keep walking into the same iron wall —infuriated and mystified— while you imagine (and social post) that you are surrendering.

From the “outside” your angels standby, hearts breaking, believing in you.

If, as you read this, you hear a buzzing in your ear, that you suspect could be the angel of your future self chanting the winning lottery numbers through time…

Something like: : “go outside, touch the earth and breathe!”…

Here’s something to throw yourself a line (since no one else can, not for lack of trying):

1. Identify the things you would never do in order to be successful as YOU.

Like not pay your bills.

Like ask for help,

Like stand in the rain at 3am and howl your hurts into the suburbs.

Like say no to someone you have epic chemistry with, or just epochs of ancestry with…

Like take a mother-loving NAP .

Like even just utter your deepest desires into the cavern of your own rib cage…

Or hear the wild birds sing.

2. Consider that you already have lived those petty horrors… if not in the outside world, then countless times inside your own head…

3. Slow TF down on all your “solutions”, suspicions, obligations, Ponzi schemes & conspiracy crack-downs.

Stop all together for a holy moment, if you can stand it…

…and you may see that you are marching surely right toward the kind of horrors that will liberate and obliterate your “standards” (otherwise known as the “oh-I-would-NEVERs!”) as the last threads of imagining you are in control or controllable.

THEN: Maaaaaaybe the next time opportunity knocks and your heart drops into your bowels, you will have the courage and presence to wonder if your dreams are being answered in mysterious ways…

And ask yourself if you are willing to get on your knees and bow down to Life,

Or if you are the kinkier sort who would rather be driven there against all odds.

WHAT I DO: stand for the rightful order of creation, which is inside to out.

Did you know I have a club where I share one fantastic event by someone I have worked with and we're also curating our own social platform with a culture of belonging?


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