Updated: Jul 17
I have this ex who we broke up annually for 7 years! When we finally broke up for good, we agreed to co-block one another and delete each other’s contacts
This is a story about knowing & not knowing Human Design.
Like it was REALLY hard for us to stop our extremely unsatisfying & unsuccessful relationship.
He is a generator & I’m a projector.
It takes 7years sometimes to complete a cycle.
Also, he has this channel that has to do with crisis, & I only had the crisis side of the channel… so every time I had a crisis, he would usurp it!
Like e.v.e.r.y. time. Like he didn’t get on a plane to paradise with me TWICE, so he could stay home & talk to the therapist he didn’t like.
I was a flaming codependent projector who thought, & sincerely felt, the responsibility to help & heal everyone else so that I could just exist…
& he had a super traumatizing childhood with an aspect of his design that made him highly unlikely to change… & prone to even breaking under the kind of perseverance I pack in my design.
I was fresh into Human Design in the last blazing year of our magnificently hot hot mess of a relationship that… for sure was a blessing in surprise because I matured & healed and got so very clear about my mission on Earth (yes I’m one of those with a mission, it was just different for him, so he couldn’t possibly lead me in the way I crave from my man).
I have no idea what it did for him… & I think that is a testament to my healing
I had a Human Design teacher at the time who refused to talk to me about him. I would even try to say I was asking about a friend and he would say “you’re trying to find out about your boyfriend, aren’t you!”
Now that I know these things, I have so much peace about the relationship. I’ll never know if I could have found peace back then or if it would have just been fodder for my codependency.
The teacher, for whom I am eternally grateful & who also simultaneously kicked me out as I quit his program (after gobbling up alllll the foundational info so investigator-that-I-am style)…
Knowing what I know now, I would say he was still a sucker for these drama games those of us play who were conditioned in especially emotionally/mentally abusive & codependent environments.
Knowing what I know now, I am super proud to have become a guide who can be a safe honest person for someone like me back then AND someone like me now & forward, relationally.
I’ve found so many ways to guide & ease these initiations into who we are with grace, so we can get in touch with the stakes of continuing to numb to our conditioning to be who we are not… & maybe without the sh!te show this time.
Having a robust experiment with my Humam Design has been instrumental in my success, in the grace I now can facilitate.
The complimentary sessions Nova Om & I have been hosting this week are a way to get some foundational information about Human Design for yourself & your others.
Tomorrow is the final one in the f-r-e-e series;
I’ll be leading a chart lab.
Then all of next month we’ll be offering an intensive & in-person workshop for the price of a chart reading.
Just follow the link and register to be in the know.
This pic is another sister, deep and sweet sweet sweet! heart-on-fire generator that I get to have in my life bc of being myself.
Just look at us together! This is Heaven.