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If you want change

If you want anything in your life to change, the only thing to “do” is to shine the light of your awareness into the shadow of your unconscious commitment to create whatever it is you think you don’t want.

(I don’t mean this to be gaslighty saying that you don’t actually want what you don’t want, but there is a part of you that *does* want it… probably *need* it as evidenced by the reality of the pattern playing out)

Unconscious commitments are how we create what we think we don’t like in our lives. As long as we do not have awareness of how and why we create our problematic patterns, we are destined to experience the same frustrating/ bitter/ disappointing/ enraging theme in infinite variation.

(It “seems” like it’s changed, only to reveal at the most heartbreaking moment, that it only adapted)

This us why I no longer jump into coaching someone on what they want to change or create; first we go through a three month process [called Clarity Journey] that begins with revealing their unconscious commitment.

Here are some unconscious commitments my clients and I have uncovered (as personal as these are, they are eerily universal):

•To be loved and abandoned •To start to succeed and then epically fail •To chase love to get it but actually chase it away •To not have enough money •To hide their brilliant heart and get burned out on drama trying to get other to see their heart •To be sick •To help people who don’t want help •To control things that cannot be controlled •To feel unlovable

It is futile to move forward and take actions with an unconscious commitment safely operating outside of one’s awareness.

Inversely, *with* awareness, the pattern is destined to melt like the wicked witch of the west in water. I say this from my personal experience with my own pattern. (“When people love me and leave me, I feel connected to God”)

There’s usually one core unconscious commitment that others sprout off from it like a mother wart.

Plenty of people who were strongly guided to work with me, walk away from coaching with me because they don’t want to take the time to uncover how they create the life they want to change, and see the very good reason why it is the way it is.

That is totally okay btw, there are factors with timing and pace that must be honored, however they may be honored.

I will say, perhaps paradoxically, that I think we all are always on path… we can’t possibly be off our path.

The difference however between awareness and forging ahead without it, when it comes to your unconscious commitment, is the difference between:

Riding your bike dragging an anchor behind you wearing snow gear in summer…

…And riding your bike with no anchor wearing shorts and t-shirt with the wind in your hair. It’s the difference between great struggling effort, and the rightful grace your soul longs for on the material plane.

I learned all of this from working with David Schwendiman. As a result I developed Clarity Journey, and I even created the first step that reveals your unconscious commitment in a video guide that I share freely, because I think everyone can benefit from this self knowledge.

This Friday I’m hosting David in the new off-FB sanctuary I’ve created for a very special event called Problem Destroyer when Dave will be coaching two people on the hot seat through a seemingly impossible problem.

It’ll be followed by a Q&A and then next week Dave will be with me for the Integration Lab to support people to integrate what they discovered.

This is an incredible opportunity to work with a master who is not taking on new clients -maybe ever- as he is rapidly becoming an artist and moving into a castle .

To join this event or access the archives and ongoing support community, check out


Ps. This pic is one of many selfies I can take because of all the opportunities my pattern creates for me to be alone with the love of God. The more I practice awareness of my pattern, the less I am “loved and left” in order to have my connection with God. I can just go direct and enjoy the solitude without the strife to justify it.

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