My Grieving Practice
Over the Summer I had enough of all the grief I had been toting around for, like, EVER. I confronted myself with the question "what do you know you need to be doing that you have not been doing?"
The answer was to regularly engage in a sustained supported back bend.
I began and the grief stirred and moved. Some crazy shit went down in my life, was already going down... again, like, FOREVER! And I could not hear another whiney narrative from myself until I earnestly tried this regularly.
About mid-way through the Summer I was present for an abusive outburst between two people I love. It was holy to be there, prepared & centered like the warrior I am.
I had awoken early that morning and had the biggest pour-out so far, walking around the house afterward just weeping and weeping.
My body knew it was coming.
I was calling it my grieving practice... but these days I think it's more accurate to call it my radical alignment practice. I truly moved a large part of that old old baggage, older than this lifetime, for sure, and, while it wasn't that long ago that I cried... it has been awhile since I did it over this health bridge.
This is my back bolster.
It’s wood.
There are some I know made in Canada called “health bridges”... honestly those are the ones I wanted, but at the time I couldn't afford them. I got mine off of Amazon… I recently searched for them and saw plastic ones… they would do!
Or a roller under upper back w/ head hanging back.
Or shoulders to the edge of a bed w/head hanging back.
It takes 20mins to change a muscle, so that’s what I set my alarm for.
Breathe. Feel. Let ribs expand.
Play with breathing into tight spots.
Be brave.
When there's emotion that feels stuck, sometimes adding some music to the session unlocks it and gets it flowing.
When you’re complete… ease out of it. Very very gently. I was trained to roll off the side, but for me I’ve found to brace my hands to the base of the bolster by my hips and gently lift straight up, head easing up last.
There can be some pain and even tweakiness when you get into this practice Bc it’s moving and changing the shape of your body. Allow this practice to bring more breath and awareness into your days. It can be too deep to start, so you can use pillows to have less of a back bend.
It’s better to find your edge and let it gently open deeper over days, weeks & months of this process, than to try to be fancy, start too deep and injure yourself.
Be gentle and open to the beautiful necessity of feeling yourself and all you carry.
-Saeri Wilde